Clutter

I went to a yoga class last night outside at Kettle Cove. I almost skipped it because I just wasn't feeling it. It was foggy, chilly and I was feeling bogged down by life. I'd spent the afternoon in the couch in a funk, eating my way through the kitchen. 

I was in a fog: literally and emotionally

As we moved through a flowing practice in the mist, the teacher talked about clutter. Most of us tend to emphasize the physical clutter, when really we should be trying to clear our emotional clutter. 

 When it comes to physical clutter, I am all over it. I am a neat freak and I am constantly picking up and cleaning out. We specifically don't have a registry for our wedding because we don't want more things.

However, I realized that I am not so good when it comes to emotional clutter. I hold onto worries, past hurts, resentment, and fear. I treat them like my favorite books. I take them out, use them for a while, and then instead of passing them on, I put them back on the self. I know they aren't serving me there, but I just can't let them go. So they just sit there and pile up, until I can't even get a thought through the mess anymore. 

Which is why I need yoga so much. Not only does it give me this fantastic physical release, but it clears the clutter from my mind like nothing else. It is only as I breathe and move my way through a practice that I can allow a thought in, acknowledge it, and then let it go.

So even though, I hadn't wanted to go to yoga, at the end I felt a million times better. The fog lifted and the sun came out, both in my mind and in the world around me. 

What helps you to clear you emotional clutter? Do you have a harder time with physical or emotional clutter?

Wedding Madness

I just got home from a kickboxing class where I went balls to the walls this morning. I was throwing some serious power into my jabs and kicks. It was just what I needed to get out some wedding stress.

The wedding is now less than 3 weeks away. Through the whole wedding planning process I have been trying to remind myself to stay calm and enjoy the process. I mean, I am marrying the guy I love more than anything, so it should be fun right?

I have actually managed to do that for the most part, which I am proud of because given my type A personality, it is not easy for me to relax and let go of details.

Now that the wedding is so close though, I am letting it get to me big time. The thing is that the stress is not even originating with me. I am letting everyone else's stress and last minute suggestions get into my head.

"So many weeds. This yard will never been ready. I don't know how I'll ever get it done."

"Help, I didn't book my hotel room and now they are sold out. Where else can I stay? What is their phone number? Do they have a continental breakfast"

"Don't you think you need snacks for everyone later and night and things to make s'mores by the bonfire? And don't you think you need to offer more than 4 soda options?"

"I can't believe you are eating ice cream! Shouldn't you be hard core dieting to get super skinny?"

AHHHHHHH!!!

How did you manage the stress of your wedding? How did you manage to both ask people to help, but also keep them from taking over?

The Eternal Quest

I recently saw a Fitfluential tweet linking to a post on a blog called Running Towards the Prize on Finding Running Shorts for Ladies with Bigger (and Stronger) Thighs.

I immediately took a look because that certainly describes me. I have always had big thighs. I was a gymnast growing up and I could never find pants that fit me. I had these hug thighs and a tiny waist. Switching over to running didn't help at all in the thigh size department. I have come to love my legs. They are strong and allow me to do amazing things. But they just don't work with most shorts.

I see all these women running in these cute little running shorts, and yet when I wear them I end up spending the whole run pulling the shorts down and end up all chafed.

I was hoping Megan had found the answer. Unfortunately, none of the shorts she reviewed actually worked for her. They all rode up. Fail.

I have found that it works best when I stick to compression shorts, especially those that come in longer lengths.

My favorite is the Under Armour 7" Compression Shorts. They are long enough to prevent chafing and stay put! Target also has a 7" inseam compression short that I like, and it comes in fun colors!

that is not me. my thighs are easily twice that size. Image Source

I also love running skirts, but find that many just have little briefs or mini shorts inside. They are cute, but those super short shorts just don't cut it. I found that Running Skirts Athletic Shorts line work well for me. They have a longer compression short that doesn't ride up. 

Again, not me. This is a model. Image Source

I have also tried some of the combination shorts that have compression shorts underneath and regular shorts on top, like these from Target. 

I have found that they do ride up a little while running. They work for shorter runs for me and I really love them for the gym. I like that that the outer short provides a little more coverage and the compression shorts underneath are great for making sure everything stays covered during moves like burpees and bear crawls. 

Have you found a running short that stays put on larger legs? If so, please share! Or share your funniest story of shorts that didn't work for you. 

Lessons Learned From A Bad Swim

If you read my race recap about the 2014 Tri for a Cure, you will know that I had a bad swim. Probably my worst swim experience ever in the 10 or so triathlons I've done.

As part of my whole now that I am in my 30's I am going to try to be a little wiser campaign, I am actually going to try to learn something from the bad experience. Here is what i think contributed to the rough swim and what I can do have a better experience next year.

1. I didn't swim in the ocean enough. I did a good job getting in the pool regularly during the spring, but I needed to get in the ocean at least once a week starting in June. Yes, the water was cold and miserable and so it wouldn't have been fun. But the water was cold and miserable on race day and so I needed that practice.

2. I need a full wetsuit and booties. I was one of the very few people wearing a shortie wetsuit and I was freezing. When you are that cold it is hard to feel comfortable in the water. Plus, having warmer swim gear will allow me to get in the water earlier in the season.

All that exposed skin on my legs was not working

3. I should not start at the front of the pack. Since it was my 3rd year doing this race, I was feeling over confident. As my wave came down the chute and into the water, I ended up in the front of the pack right in the middle of the line. I should have moved back and out to a side since I know I hate being right in the scrum at the start.

I should have tried to hide at the back

4. My expectations for myself were too high, especially given I'd only done one ocean swim in training. I expected to be comfortably swimming at the front of the pack. When this didn't happen and I saw so many people passing me, I got really discouraged which only made me feel worse. 

What lessons have you learned from rough races? Any other advice for me?

Tri for a Cure 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have sucessfully completed the Tri for a Cure 2014.

First of all, it is so amazing to have such a great event right in my backyard. Even with race traffic, it only took me 9 minutes to get to get there. This is great for a race that starts early in the morning.

It was a strangely beautiful morning with a light fog hanging over the water shrouding the islands and boats in Casco Bay. In a few places the pink sun shone through.



I spent nearly all of my time before the start in line for the bathroom. At an all women's race they should know they really need a lot of portapotties!

The opening ceremony was as moving as always. Each year I am just as touched because there are so many incredible stories about the ways that cancer has touched so many lives. This year they highlighted an elderly pair of identical twins who both have lung cancer, but were determined to volunteer at a water stop. They are the embodiment of what it means to never give up.

Then the survivor waves was off. You can just see the strength and determination in these women. It is so inspiring.

My swim on the other hand, was not inspiring. Granted, I didn't go into it with the best mindset. In fact, I was outright dreading it. The water was a whopping 54 degrees and my feet started aching in the 2 minutes I stood waiting for my wave to start. I was right smack in the middle of the pack when we started so there was no clean water. I just couldn't find my rhythm. As soon as I put my face in the water, the cold just took my breath away and I started to panic. After a minute or so of this, I gave up and flipped over to my back. After backstroking for a bit and trying to take some deep breaths, I tried flipping back over. Unfortunately that was right when a huge wake from a ferry came in and I got in the face with a wave. I considered quitting at that point. My heart was racing, I couldn't breathe, and I wasn't even to the first buoy! Instead I turned back onto my back and just focused on doing 10 strokes at a time. I was actually moving at a decent pace, but I couldn't see where I was going and the unfamiliar stroke was quickly tiring my arms and legs. It was only right before the final buoy that I was finally able to keep my face in the water and free-style. My time of 12:22 was almost 2 minutes slower than last year!

Luckily, when I came out of the water I saw my Mom there cheering for me. We hadn't connected before the race, so knowing someone was there rooting for me was a great pick me up. I also used the wetsuit strippers for the first time this year. I was feeling so unsteady, it was nice to have someone else do all the work. I found my shoes in the mini-transition and headed up the hill to get my bike. At T1 I decided to run into the bathroom as well. I knew it would eat up some time, but I had to go!

I have never been so glad to get on my bike. After being passed by so many in the swim, I was thrilled to pass a good 30 people in the first 10 minutes on the bike. I felt strong and went hard and never really had to let up. On the swim I was thinking "I am never doing this again," but on the bike I was thinking, "I don't want this to end, I can't wait to do this again." My only mishap when was I passed my fiance, I was so busy waving to him that I stopped paying attention and almost hit a cone and fell over. I love the last mile of the bike- there were so many spectators I felt like I was in the Tour de France. My time was 50:19 for a pace of 17.5 mph.

Then all that was left was the run. I grabbed my race belt and was off. I purposely didn't wear my watch and just ran as fast as I could. The miles seemed long and that same feeling of not being able to breathe was back in my lungs. But at least running I knew I wouldn't drown! I did my best to say something nice to everyone I passed and who passed me since the camaraderie is one of my favorite parts of this race. Finally I was near the finish and I pushed a little harder, but I held back a little because could feel my stomach getting really upset. I finished the run in 23:56 for 7:59 pace!

The post race food, provided by Whole Foods, was awesome! They gave us each a bag and they had all kinds of stuff to fill it with- hummus packs, cheese sticks, different kinds of bars, coconut water, even lotion and supplement samples! There was no live music or free beer this year, plus I was freezing, so once I found my Mom, we headed home.

I can already feel some sore muscles from the backstroke, but I am generally feeling pretty good. I am a little disappointed with my swim time, but proud that I didn't give up, and finished the swim in any way I could. I am very happy with my bike and run times. Plus, I love this year's race shirts!

Not a bad day at the races as they say.

Ready to Tri for Cure?

The Tri for a Cure really snuck on me this year. I can't believe the race is this weekend.

I just couldn't pull it together with the fundraising this year. My goal was to raise $350, but I only made it to $227. Would you like to help me support a great cause?

I'm feeling confident about the run and bike. I have a lot of miles under my belt and I've even managed to do quite a bit of speedwork since the Tokyo Marathon at the end of February. I've gotten in 596.46 miles of running this year. Although I got a late start because of the cold, wet spring I've also managed to get in 370.3 miles of biking.

It's the swim I am nervous about. See that little tiny piece of the pie chart above? That tiny 1.1%? Yeah, that's all the swimming I've done. Worse, out of that swimming I've only done 2 open water workouts, and only 1 in the ocean. I have some valid excuses- abnormally cold water, a lot of wind/surf/rain in the past 2 weeks, planning a wedding, etc. But, a lot of it is just that I don't enjoy swimming in the ocean, so I don't do it! 

I can't control the water conditions on race day, but I can control my race preparation. Just because this is my 3rd year doing this race, doesn't mean I can be lax about packing my stuff. I made that mistake in May at Tri for the Y and ended up without some things I really needed. I won't make that mistake again!

Any last minute open water swim tips for me? Or maybe someone would just like to pretend to be me and do the swim for me? (only kidding..... kind of.)

Growing

I am now in my 30's. Theoretically, that means I should now be wiser (and not just older) than I was at 20. Most of the time I don't notice any change and think that I will be stuck being a type A, control freak, for the rest of my life. But, every now and then I have a moment where I realize that maybe I am growing after all.

Recently someone in my life mentioned something that could have a big impact on my life. (How's that for vague?). It was a casual comment and it is something that is a remote possibility. Yet, being the control freak that I am, I let it worry me. I was just going to bed and so I laid awake for quite awhile worrying about the future. That's nothing new for me.

But here is where something new happened.

I realized that I was getting carried away and getting myself all wound up about something that probably won't even happen. I told myself to to let it go and to go to sleep.



It would make a much better story if I said that I exhaled all that worry right out of the window and immediately fell asleep. I didn't. I continued to alternate between worry and telling myself to let it go.

I am okay with that though, because that's still progress. I am still evolving. Recognizing that I am letting myself get all upset over nothing is the first step. Maybe I'll get to the actually letting it go part by the time I'm 60.

Do ever notice yourself growing as a person?

Showered With Love

What an absolutely amazing weekend I just had. It was full of everything I love most- the ocean, friends, family, food, and music.

The fun started Friday. My best friend (and Maid of Honor), Breezy, and I headed up to Cape Newagen around noon. We wanted to get there in plenty of time to get in a boat trip and to start party preparation for my bridal shower on Saturday.

Saturday morning I went for a nice run by myself and then we started the festivities with a yoga class taught by me. It was a beautiful morning to be practicing yoga by the sea. It was also the perfect way to slow down, let go of any lingering worries from the week, and enjoy the present moment. I left the class full of gratitude. 

Then it was time to party. My friends and family did such a good job decorating our boathouse. It was full of my favorite colors, favorite foods, and favorite flowers. 

The shower was exactly what I wanted- low key and fun! We played a few games, drank a lot of mimosas, ate a lot of delicious food, and played in the ocean. 

Overall I just felt so showered with love and support. My friends and family are the best!

Luckily, the fun didn't end with the shower. Later that evening we headed to Freeport for a free Josh Ritter concert at L.L. Bean. Is there anything better than a free concert on a summer night? 

What was the best part of your weekend?

Surfing

My soon to be sister in-law, Erika, has gotten into surfing this summer and talked me into taking a lesson with her. I then talked my sister, Maddy, into coming with us too.

Me and my little sis

We headed down to Wells, where we took a private lesson through Wheels and Waves. It was a gorgeous day, but very windy!

those waves look so small from the beach

I was tired before we even got into the water between trying to get myself into my wet-suit and attempting to carry my board down the beach in the wind. 

Carry these suckers in the wind is not easy

We did some drills on the beach to practice popping up. Both my sister and I are pretty athletic, so we caught on pretty quickly. Little did we know how much harder it would be on the water!

Then we headed into the water. Even with the wet suit it was cold and my poor bare hands and face were aching. Getting out with my board into the deep water was really hard. Between the breaking waves, the wind, and the undertow I was really struggling. The waves were really close together yesterday so I hardly made any forward progress before I got pushed back by the next wave. 

Finally we were out into the deeper water and I let Erika and then Maddy catch waves first. Poor Maddy got whacked in her face with her board after she fell. She cut her nose and it started to bruise and swell. Then it was my turn. The instructor helped me pick a wave, told me when to start to paddle, and then yelled to tell me when to pop up. 

It was so much harder to pop up and balance on the water than the land. My first try my legs were way too close together and I quickly lost my balance and flew face first into the water. I battled my way back out and tried again. That time I was looking down which called me to lean too far forward. Again, I went flying into the water head first. 

So it went. Battle out through the waves, paddle down the beach since the current kept sweeping us down towards the rocks, catch a wave, stand briefly, and then fall into the water. 

After about an hour and half, I noticed Maddy was heading to the shore. I followed her in. When she admitted that her face really hurt and she wasn't having fun, I was so relieved. 

"Oh thank God," I said. "I am freezing, I am tired of getting hit in the face with waves, and I hate falling face first into the water with my foot still attached to the board and gulping in tons of salt water. I just didn't want to be the first to quit."

We rested for a few minutes on the shore and then stuck to riding the waves in on our bellies for the rest of the lesson. Way more fun!

So I guess I can cross professional surfer off my list of potential careers. But it was still a good adventure and a good workout. My shoulders are so sore today from all that paddling. 

At least we look like surfers

Have you ever tried surfing? Did you like it?

Just as bad as I expected

You know how sometimes you are absolutely dreading something, but then when you finally do it, it isn't that bad? That's not what happened when I did my first ocean swim of the year yesterday. It was just as terrible as I thought it would be.

Tri for a Cure is now just 2 weeks away so I knew I needed to stop making excuses and get myself in the ocean. I headed down to Spring Point Light so I could practice on the actual course, slithered into my wetsuit, popped on my goggles, and headed into the water.

2 weeks from today this will be me

I gasped when my toes first hit the water. It was SO cold. I refused to let myself turn around though and kept heading into the water. I took a deep breath and then dropped myself into the water. I did the breast stroke for a minute or so to let my body get used to the water. Then came the part I was most dreading- I had to put my face in the water.

The cold took my breath away. I came up panicked and gasping. And so it went. Put face in water, gasp from the cold, panic, come up gulping in air. I couldn't find a rhythm.

I lived through the swim last year

My usual strategy in the cold water is to come up for air every 2 strokes, instead of the 4 I do in the pool. This means my face isn't in the cold water for as long and I get more chances to breathe. Except yesterday that wasn't working. The tide was going out so there was the tidal surge creating chop on one side. Then, it there was also quite a wind coming in from the sea, which created chop on the other side. Meaning that every time I lifted my face to breathe I got whacked in the face with a wave of water.

If it was that awful yesterday, I can't even imagine how bad it is going to be when I in a giant pack of people.

I know that I will get through the swim somehow, I've managed to do it the past 2 years. But, I feel like I am really good shape this year, and I really want to race. I'm going to be really disappointed in myself if I can't freestyle the whole swim. Plus, I feel like open water swimming should be getting better with time, not worse!

Help! Any ocean swimmers have any tips for me?

About that fall marathon

Last week I ran 33.89 miles. (And if I had know it was .89 I totally would have done an extra .11 to make it 34). With training like that I could totally be ready for the Auckland Marathon in the fall.

Except the week before I only ran 13.44 miles. But, the week before that I ran 26.8! But, the week before that I only ran 19.5. 

This, my friends, is why I've never done a fall marathon. I have such a hard time being consistent in the summer between the heat and all the fun summer activities. I'd so much rather go do a long run when it is 20 than when it is 80. In fact when it's 80, I'd prefer to skip running altogether and head out in my kayak. 

I know that in order to complete my goal of running a marathon on all 7 continents, that I will probably have to run a fall marathon at some point. I just wish I knew if this was the year. Maybe if I knew for sure, I'd be able to suck it up and train consistently. Unfortunately, there are just too many variables (money, work schedules, a new puppy, etc), that we just don't know if when and if we will be able to do New Zealand.

How is your training going this summer? 

TTT

Hi Friends! I can't believe it is almost the 4th of July! This year feels like it is just flying by!

1. This week has not flown by. In fact it has seemed to crawl, and that is because my kitchen is all torn up. I finally decided I couldn't stand my gross old while tile counter with the moldy grout one more day and decided to replace the counter top and sink. It should have been a 1 day job, so Monday morning they ripped up the old counter. Then it turned out that the new counter didn't fit and the sink was late in being delivered. So this is what we have been living with. We've been stuck grilling everything and washing dishes with the hose.

2. I decided to spring for a second block of 8 personal training sessions. I am using the wedding as an excuse. It is expensive, but I really enjoy it and I feel like I am getting fitter and have some great new ideas for the workouts I do on my own. 

3. Maine Running Company is doing Beach to Beacon Preview runs. They drive you to the start, provide support along the way, and then bring you back to your car from the finish (and give you snacks). I've never gotten into B2B, so this is the next best thing. 8 a.m. July 6th, 13th, and 27th

What is happening in your world this Thursday?

Love me some Lake

I've got this date looming on my summer calender. It's not my wedding, although that is rapidly approaching too, it's the Tri for a Cure. The race is now less than 3 weeks away and I was starting to worry about the fact I haven't done a single open water swim session.

I've been getting to the pool once a week, but I just haven't gotten myself in the ocean. The water here in Maine is still freezing! Not just a little chilly, but ouch this hurts and my feet ache cold. I went to the beach Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and brought my wetsuit just in case. But since it hurt just to stand up to the my ankles, I just convince myself to do a real swim.

The Maine ocean. So pretty, but so cold. 

Yesterday it was supposed to be 90 here so I decided to go see my future sister-in-law, who lives on a lake. As I packed up myself and the dog, it occurred to me that the lake was the perfect solution! I could get in an open water swim and not freeze to death!

It was Sushi's first time in fresh water and she was a big fan. She ran around like a maniac and I tried to eat everything, especially lily pads. She also drank about half the lake.

I was just as happy with the lake. The water was the perfect temperature- cool enough to be refreshing, but not cold at all. I felt great swimming- my breathing was regular, my stroke felt strong, and my wetsuit didn't bother me. It was so much better than open water swimming in the ocean! The water wasn't so cold that it took my breath away and it wasn't all nasty and salty when I got it in my mouth. And I didn't mind looking down and seeing all the grass and weeds and stuff nearly as much as I thought I would. 

It's basically impossible to look good in a wetsuit and swim cap

Now I really want to find a tri with a lake swim this summer. Mainers do you know of any?

Do you like ocean swims or lake swims better? Have any of you northern climate people gotten in the ocean yet?

Please consider supporting me in the Tri for a Cure to benefit the Maine Cancer Foundation. Cancer has personally touched so many of us, it is time for a cure!