You Never Know (Moments from my life that I didn't share)

I read this blog post last week about how a blogger that I have followed for awhile got over her body issues. What surprised me is not that she got over her issues, but that it was such a problem in the first place. After reading a blog for awhile I feel like I know the blogger. I always thought of this person as such a positive, love myself type of person. This reminded me that we see such a small, curated version of life on social media.

This is problematic because we often compare ourselves to these idealized images. No one's life is as perfect as they make it seem on the inter-webs. So in the spirit of full disclosure, here are some real life moments from my life in the past week. This is who I really am.

Moments I Didn't Instagram

real life with an infant

Tip-toeing into the kitchen and trying to silently (so that my husband won't know) get a third portion of dessert. Healthy living blogger right here.

Ordering Dominos during the blizzard and eating 3/4 of a stuffed cheesy bread, 3 slices of pizza dipped in garlic butter, and 1/2 an order of cinnastix. This was followed by a bag of goldfish over the course of the afternoon and then a full dinner and ice cream. Then, waking up with a food hangover and such a sense of regret and guilt the next morning.

The evening that the baby screamed for hours no matter what we did to try and soothe him. I was so frustrated at one point that I screamed back at him for a minute. Mom of the year.

Dumping breast milk all over myself and the floor at 3 am when I was pumping. That carpet is going to smell great this summer.

Cooper refusing to eat on my left side unless he was flat on his back and I was doing an awkward side plank over him. I'm glad no one got a picture because it wasn't pretty.


What were your fail moments of the week? Do you think it is important than we try to depict our lives more realistically, or do you think the whole point of social media is to allow us to show our lives as we want them to be?

Monday Mash-up

I keep having to come up with new names for this post because I keep running out of time to finish it! It started as fun things Friday, then was Saturday Stuff, then was Sunday stuff, and now it is Monday already. Life with a baby keeps you on your toes! Anyway, here is an update on what is new in my neck of the woods.

Running
I had 3 good runs last week! Yeah! 2 were on the treadmill due to babies and blizzards but I did make it outside once. I felt strong and my "speed" is starting to come back. I have really been struggling to get below a 10 min/mile average since the baby, but finally last week I dropped down to a 9:30 pace. Yeah!

Baby

Somehow my little guy is 2 months old! He is very interactive these days- smiling and "talking" to us, which is so fun! He has also been sleeping 5-6 hours more regularly. Hallelujah!  Of course, he is also throwing some challenges at us. He started screaming like he was in pain last week every time I tried to feed him on my left side. The lactation consultant thinks it is a musculoskeletal alignment issue so we have been desperately trying to get him into a DO for some osteopathic manipulation. In the meantime, I have gotten creative. He will eat on the left if he is lying flat on his back and I do an awkward side plank over him or if I stand up and hold him straight up and down. Neither are comfortable for me- but I try to think of it as an extra workout for myself! Despite this, he is still growing like a weed. He is 11 lbs, so he has almost doubled his birth weight, which usually doesn't happen until 6 months!

Blue Apron

We were gifted a few weeks of Blue Apron when Cooper was born and we just are finishing them. We had done Blue Apron a year or so ago and loved it, but I've been disappointed this time. I don't like how choosing one meal makes other meals that week unavailable. I lean towards vegetarian meals while Rory prefers meat, but we seem to have to get either all meat or all veggie dishes. Plus our boxes have arrived with spilled ingredients, incorrect ingredients, and spoiled ingredients. And they just don't taste as good as I remembered them being. Whomp. 

Anyone in the Portland area have a recommendation for a DO that sees babies?

Or any other recommendations for helping us get over this feeding hurdle?

Any recommendations for other meal delivery services?

Running and Breastfeeding

Let me start by saying that although I am successfully breastfeeding now, it is still a challenge. It is something that I don't think people talk about enough and so I felt so under-prepared. Breastfeeding is hard! Don't feel alone or like a failure if you are struggling. You are not alone!

In addition to the normal challenges of breastfeeding, I've found that it has some specific challenges for runners. Here they are, along with how I'm getting around them

1) Your breasts will be LARGE
I didn't think it was possible for my breasts to get any larger than they already were in pregnancy.  I was wrong. They easily doubled in size again after my milk came in. This was a little frustrating since the larger sports bras I'd had to buy when I was pregnant were now too small already. Annoying because sports bras aren't cheap! I opted to just buy 2 really good quality sports bras that fit me perfectly now, rather than invest in a whole new bra wardrobe. This works since we are already doing laundry ALL the time for the baby and because once I stop breastfeeding I'll be able to go back to my old bras.

2) They will change size all the time

All of  Mom's yummy milk makes for a chubby baby

Your boobs will change size all day every day depending on how long it has been since the baby ate and how much he/she ate. They will probably also never been the same size as each other. This makes it challenging to get a bra that fits well. I got around this by getting bras that have lots of options for adjustment. I got the Moving Comfort Fiona bra because the straps have velcro in the front allowing you to adjust the fit. I can custom adjust it for each side of my body for each run. (I have no relationship with Moving Comfort- I found the bra and paid for it myself.

3) They will be HEAVY
Besides just being generally large, your breasts will also be super heavy from the milk. I found that feeding the baby and then also pumping to get them as empty as possible before I run makes me a lot more comfortable.

4) You need easy access for feedings
Newborns especially are impossible to get on a schedule. Even when I think I've timed things perfectly, my baby somehow always needs to eat right before, after, or even in the middle of my run. This means that I need a bra that allows me to feed him easily without having to get completely naked on my top half. Again, the Moving Comfort Fiona bra works well for me because I can completely undo the strap on side and the fabric is soft and flexible enough for me to pull down to give the baby access.

5) You can't wear a bra with underwire
My lactation consultant advised me against wearing any bras with underwire because it can interfere with milk production. This limits your options in finding a bra supportive enough for the high impact of running. I found it really helpful to go into an actual store to try on bras because it is hard to know if they provide enough support without actually jumping in them.

Did you breastfeed while running? What worked for you?

Postpartum Fitness: 6 weeks

Cooper is now 6 weeks old and while things certainly aren't "easy," I am starting to feel a lot more like myself, mostly because I am back in the swing of things with my exercise routine.

picture just because he is so darn cute

I had a relatively uncomplicated delivery, with minimal tearing, so my midwife told me that I could resume exercise when my bleeding slowed and I felt ready.

Week 1
For my first week postpartum all I could do was hobble! But I found that getting out of the house for just 15 minutes of fresh air, sunshine, and movement made just a huge difference.

Week 2
By week two I was starting to feel stronger and was in a lot less pain. I started doing longer walks (30-45 minutes) and even figured out how to get the baby in the sling so I could walk with him. I was lucky that we had some beautiful, and very atypical weather for Maine, this week so that it was warm enough to take him out. I also did some gentle yoga to help everything loosen up and settle back into position.

Family Walk! (The white thing on my chest is the baby)

Week 3
At the end of week 2 my husband and I started sleeping in shifts, where one of us was in with the baby and the other was in the guest room. Getting several hours of uninterrupted sleep made such a huge difference and I felt like I recovered so much in just a couple days. My bleeding slowed almost to nothing and I had so much more energy. So half-way through this week I made my return to the gym! I went back to my favorite classes (kickboxing and metabolic conditioning), but made sure to ease back in and not go all out. I also went back to the yoga studio for a gentle vinyassa flow class, which did wonderful things for me physically and mentally.

Week 4
I continued to feel good, so I went for my first run at the beginning of week 4. Since I hadn't run in a couple months, and had been doing intervals of run-walk before that, I knew it would be hard. I stuck to a 1 minute run-1 minute walk ratio and went for 30-45 minutes. I made it outside one day and the other 2 stuck to the treadmill since I was on baby duty.

A mid run selfie as proof that it actually happened

Week 5
I was feeling really good at the gym so I started pushing it a little harder. Since I had continued both classes and weight training right up until week 40, I felt like I'd hardly lost any fitness. In fact, I felt like I was stronger than before pregnancy since I'd been hauling around all that extra weight for months. It felt great to be able to get back to my favorite moves like burpees that had been really hard with a giant baby belly.
Running wise, I upped my run interval to 2-3 minutes. I also started increasing my running speed, especially on the treadmill to make it more interesting.

Week 6
By week 6 I was basically back to normal at the gym. It was nice to be able to really go hard and get my heart rate up without worrying about the baby like during pregnancy.

Running on the other hand is still very much a work in progress. I've always known that running fitness is very specific and this just confirms it. There is just no way to stay in running shape without running! I'm up to a 4 minute run-1 minute walk ratio for 45-60 minutes. It feels hard and I am slow, which is discouraging. I was really hoping I'd be one of those magical people that is faster after pregnancy. But I remind myself that I was pregnant for 40 weeks, I can't expect to be back in racing shape immediately. Ultimately running has never been about being the fastest person out there for me, so it shouldn't be now. It is about clearing my head, getting some me time, and feeling good about my body.

Cooper has also been working on his fitness. He has some serious gains in the chin department.