The Big 3

Sadly this post isn’t about This is Us, even though I love, love that show. It’s about running outside, which I finally got to do this morning. 

I have missed seeing the sun rise

I've been spending an awful lot of time on the dreadmill this winter. There are 3 primary factors that determine if I go out or stay in: darkness, cold, and road conditions. I can handle any one of these factors alone, but when they combine I usually head to the treadmill.  

Dark + cold = Outside, except for extreme cold (which for me is usually when it is below 5 or 10).

Dark + slippery = Inside. It’s not worth falling and getting hurt or hit by a car because I have to run in the middle of the road in the dark.

Cold + slippery= Depends. If it is super slippery and super cold I usually opt to stay in because I can’t run fast enough to warm up.

Unfortunately this winter it has often been all 3- dark, cold, and slippery- which means my treadmill has been getting some heavy use. I’ve gone through the entire season of Fuller House (which is totally terrible and cheesy, but nostalgia so I watch it anyway) and 3 full seasons of Friends. I know I'm lucky to have the option of running on a treadmill in my own basement rather than not being able to run. It is better than nothing, but it just isn't the same. I don't get the same mental benefits or runners high when I am inside. 

How do you decide whether to run outside or inside?

One

Just like that, my baby is one. I truly can't believe it. We celebrated with a puppy picnic over the weekend.

I was totally expecting this to be a Pinterest fail, but it wasn't!

So many babies, so much fun

I'm not sure he's really my kid, he was not a fan of cake. 

My husband bought a bounce house for the party, despite the fact none of kids can even walk!

It's so amazing how in just one year Cooper went from this tiny, sleepy, helpless baby to a real little person with his own personality and preferences. In some ways the year went so quickly, but at the same time I can hardly remember what life was like before him.

Becoming a parent is the most life changing thing I've ever done. It's challenged me in so many ways. It's physically demanding. It's challenged my relationships with my husband and my friends. It's forced me to look at my own values and determine what I want to pass on to Cooper. Nothing is just about me anymore.

It's been really hard, but a year in I feel like it's made me a better person. I feel like I'm more present, more focused, more joyful, less selfish, healthier, and stronger. Thank you Coop, for choosing me as your Mom.

Balance

It's 3 pm on Saturday, Cooper just went down for his afternoon nap, and I'm having a debate with myself. Do I tackle sorting through the 3 enormous tubs of outgrown baby clothes or do I take a break and do some yoga? I feel like I have some version of this debate every day, and that no matter what I choose I end up feeling badly.

So far today I got up, took care of the dog, got myself and Cooper dressed, fed, packed up and to the gym by 8. I came up with a circuit workout and led myself and a group and friends through it. Then back at home, I made and fed Cooper breakfast and put him down for a nap. While he slept, I took the dog for a short run, took a shower (where I noticed how dirty and the shower and bathroom were so I cleaned them), cleaned out the humidifiers, and did a huge amount of food prep for the week. Once Cooper was up, I gave him a bottle, and then we headed out to return some Christmas presents (clothes for him that were already too small) at 3 different stores. I attempted to keep a baby entertained when we waited in long lines, 3 different times. On the way back, we stopped to visit a friend's new condo and drop off a house warming present. We rushed home because Cooper was very hungry, so I attempted to feed him, feed myself, talk to my husband for 5 minutes before he headed to work, and clean up the kitchen which was still a mess from food prep. I collected all linens in the house and threw in a load of laundry, before getting the baby ready for a nap. And here I am.

One of my New Year's intentions this year was to slow down, to be more intentional, to find moments in each day for myself.

It's so hard.

I'm so type A. I always have a list of things to do. I willingly take on much of the responsibility of running our household. At some level, I get a deep sense of satisfaction from being busy and productive. But it is also exhausting. I know it's important to find ways to relax and rejuvenate or I am going to burn out. Yet when I try to do things for myself, I feel guilty that I am not doing anything productive. And when I am doing something productive, I feel guilty that I am not relaxing.

There's no neat conclusion here, but I'd love to hear tips on how you find balance in your lives.

Duh

For Christmas I asked for some new running socks because mine were all in sad shape. My wonderful aunt got me a bunch of pairs of Smartwools, including one pair of crew (mid calf) style socks. This is something I never would have gotten for myself. I was raised in a time where tall socks were just not cool. Although apparently the look is back in based on the number of teenagers I see in shorts and tall socks. (I just don't get it, it looks so dumb).

OMG the taller socks are amazing for winter running. They are under my tights, so no one can see them. No more frozen ankle between my pants and socks! No more snow inside my socks! Best of all they also seem to help keep my tights from falling down as I run (I swear I spend half my run yanking my pants back up).

It's just always amazing to me how we get stuck in such ruts, and it often takes someone else to help us see the obvious and get us to change. I'm totally team crew for the rest of the winter.

Comeback

Well hello. It's been awhile, but I'm okay with that. I gave myself all of 2017 to focus on my new role as a mother to this adorable guy. I can't believe he is almost one!

That meant that I didn't commit to any major running (or blogging) goals in 2017. It was absolutely the right decision. It kept the pressure off and made running and working out a treat rather than a chore. 

But now somehow it is 2018. I had been struggling with what I wanted to do fitness wise this year. Part of me was itching to get back to training and racing longer distances, but another part of me loves just being able to do what I feel each day. 

Last night I had a couple of margaritas at home with the hubby (because who doesn't want a frozen drink when it is -10). Before I knew it I found myself signing up for 2 races!

Well there you go. Apparently my sub-conscious really wanted to race! I'll be doing the inaugural Portland 10 miler in April and then the 2018 Shipyard Maine Coast Marathon in May. I'm excited to start coming up with a training plan, but also glad I have some time because it is frigid here and the roads are still so icy. Who wants to train and race with me??

As for blogging, I make no promises, but I hope to be on here more. 

Happy New Year Friends! What are your plans for the new year?