I'll Never... 1st Edition

Before I became a parent there so many things I swore that I'd never do. We all do it. When I become a parent, I'll never ________________. In the 3 months since Cooper was born, I've found myself already doing some of the things I swore I'd never do. 

Here is the first edition of things I said I'd never do, but have done.

1) I'll never tip-toe around my house while the kid is napping. I wanted my kids to be used to napping with the sounds of the house happening around them. 

In his Easter bow-tie

Fast forward...... It took me 30 minutes to get Cooper to fall asleep and I know that if he doesn't nap, he will be a grumpy, screaming mess. Quite frequently my husband and I find ourselves whispering and tip-toeing around so we don't wake the baby. Rory has resorted to making margaritas in the garage because the blender is so loud (and we really needed a margarita).

2) I'll never have a rigid schedule and schedule everything around the baby.

 Fast forward........ When he was a newborn Cooper could nap anywhere, but in the last month or so he has had a much harder time falling asleep and staying asleep in his car seat, in the stroller, or in the Ergo. When we doesn't nap, he gets grumpy. He also gets very grumpy when we wake him up before he is ready. So here I am at the mercy of the baby's whims. We leave whenever he decides to wake up and come home when he decides he needs a nap. 

3) I won't force my baby to eat, he will eat when he gets hungry enough. 

Fast forward...... Cooper has thrown us a lot of curve balls when it comes to eating. For awhile he wouldn't eat on my left side, then he didn't want to eat on either side, now he doesn't want to take a bottle anymore. Each time we have gone to ridiculous lengths to get him to eat- like me side planking over him for an entire feeding- because something just feels so wrong about letting him get too hungry. 

Are there things you swore you'd never do (either as a parent or just in life) that you have found yourself doing later?

Just Me

Last week a friend asked if I was ready to go back to work. I responded that I was looking forward to going back so that I could be "myself," for a little while, meaning the pre-Mom me.

Fast forward to the night before I went back when I was crying as I nursed Cooper before bed. I already missed him and I hadn't even left yet. He was always at the back of my mind (and often at the front of my mind too) during my work day.

I know I am biased, but you have to admit he is pretty darn cute

I realized that being a Mom is a permanent part of who I am now. The old me isn't me anymore. The more I thought about it though, I recgnized that I didn't lose a part of myself, I grew. I gained so much.

I am a better wife because I appreciate my husband in a whole new way. It warms my heart to see the relationship he has with Cooper. I so appreciate everything he does to help me- particularly making sure I get my exercise time and making sure I get as much sleep as possible.

I am a better runner because I recognize how lucky I am to have some time to myself and recharge in the fresh air. I also have a new respect for the amazing things my body can do.

I am a better nurse because I have a new appreciation and compassion for what parents go through when their kids are sick.

I am an all around better person. I am more patient, more resilient, more appreciative of my family and friends, and my heart has grown so much.

The Best Banana Trick Ever

I bet that title got your attention. I couldn't think of any titles for this post (which is about bananas) that didn't sound a little dirty.

But seriously guys, this has changed my life. I like actual fresh bananas, but I've never really been a fan of banana flavored things. My college dining hall used to use up left over bananas in all kinds of desserts. It was the worst surprise ever when you bit into a piece of chocolate cake and it had a banana flavor. But never the end of my pregnancy when I was craving strange things I had a hankering for banana bread. I used this lovely cookbook that a friend gave me and the first step of the recipe was something I'd never done before. It called for roasting the bananas before baking with them.

Take the whole banana, peel and all and put it in the oven at 400.

Roast until the peels are black (10ish minutes depending on how ripe the bananas are)

Wait for them to cool and then slit the peel and squeeze out this lovely caramelized banana goodness. 

I've been using it for all kinds of stuff- in banana bread, in oatmeal bakes, and even just plain with a little greek yogurt and granola. 

Try it- you won't regret it!

Bananas- yeah or nay? What about banana flavored things?

You Never Know (Moments from my life that I didn't share)

I read this blog post last week about how a blogger that I have followed for awhile got over her body issues. What surprised me is not that she got over her issues, but that it was such a problem in the first place. After reading a blog for awhile I feel like I know the blogger. I always thought of this person as such a positive, love myself type of person. This reminded me that we see such a small, curated version of life on social media.

This is problematic because we often compare ourselves to these idealized images. No one's life is as perfect as they make it seem on the inter-webs. So in the spirit of full disclosure, here are some real life moments from my life in the past week. This is who I really am.

Moments I Didn't Instagram

real life with an infant

Tip-toeing into the kitchen and trying to silently (so that my husband won't know) get a third portion of dessert. Healthy living blogger right here.

Ordering Dominos during the blizzard and eating 3/4 of a stuffed cheesy bread, 3 slices of pizza dipped in garlic butter, and 1/2 an order of cinnastix. This was followed by a bag of goldfish over the course of the afternoon and then a full dinner and ice cream. Then, waking up with a food hangover and such a sense of regret and guilt the next morning.

The evening that the baby screamed for hours no matter what we did to try and soothe him. I was so frustrated at one point that I screamed back at him for a minute. Mom of the year.

Dumping breast milk all over myself and the floor at 3 am when I was pumping. That carpet is going to smell great this summer.

Cooper refusing to eat on my left side unless he was flat on his back and I was doing an awkward side plank over him. I'm glad no one got a picture because it wasn't pretty.


What were your fail moments of the week? Do you think it is important than we try to depict our lives more realistically, or do you think the whole point of social media is to allow us to show our lives as we want them to be?

Monday Mash-up

I keep having to come up with new names for this post because I keep running out of time to finish it! It started as fun things Friday, then was Saturday Stuff, then was Sunday stuff, and now it is Monday already. Life with a baby keeps you on your toes! Anyway, here is an update on what is new in my neck of the woods.

Running
I had 3 good runs last week! Yeah! 2 were on the treadmill due to babies and blizzards but I did make it outside once. I felt strong and my "speed" is starting to come back. I have really been struggling to get below a 10 min/mile average since the baby, but finally last week I dropped down to a 9:30 pace. Yeah!

Baby

Somehow my little guy is 2 months old! He is very interactive these days- smiling and "talking" to us, which is so fun! He has also been sleeping 5-6 hours more regularly. Hallelujah!  Of course, he is also throwing some challenges at us. He started screaming like he was in pain last week every time I tried to feed him on my left side. The lactation consultant thinks it is a musculoskeletal alignment issue so we have been desperately trying to get him into a DO for some osteopathic manipulation. In the meantime, I have gotten creative. He will eat on the left if he is lying flat on his back and I do an awkward side plank over him or if I stand up and hold him straight up and down. Neither are comfortable for me- but I try to think of it as an extra workout for myself! Despite this, he is still growing like a weed. He is 11 lbs, so he has almost doubled his birth weight, which usually doesn't happen until 6 months!

Blue Apron

We were gifted a few weeks of Blue Apron when Cooper was born and we just are finishing them. We had done Blue Apron a year or so ago and loved it, but I've been disappointed this time. I don't like how choosing one meal makes other meals that week unavailable. I lean towards vegetarian meals while Rory prefers meat, but we seem to have to get either all meat or all veggie dishes. Plus our boxes have arrived with spilled ingredients, incorrect ingredients, and spoiled ingredients. And they just don't taste as good as I remembered them being. Whomp. 

Anyone in the Portland area have a recommendation for a DO that sees babies?

Or any other recommendations for helping us get over this feeding hurdle?

Any recommendations for other meal delivery services?

Running and Breastfeeding

Let me start by saying that although I am successfully breastfeeding now, it is still a challenge. It is something that I don't think people talk about enough and so I felt so under-prepared. Breastfeeding is hard! Don't feel alone or like a failure if you are struggling. You are not alone!

In addition to the normal challenges of breastfeeding, I've found that it has some specific challenges for runners. Here they are, along with how I'm getting around them

1) Your breasts will be LARGE
I didn't think it was possible for my breasts to get any larger than they already were in pregnancy.  I was wrong. They easily doubled in size again after my milk came in. This was a little frustrating since the larger sports bras I'd had to buy when I was pregnant were now too small already. Annoying because sports bras aren't cheap! I opted to just buy 2 really good quality sports bras that fit me perfectly now, rather than invest in a whole new bra wardrobe. This works since we are already doing laundry ALL the time for the baby and because once I stop breastfeeding I'll be able to go back to my old bras.

2) They will change size all the time

All of  Mom's yummy milk makes for a chubby baby

Your boobs will change size all day every day depending on how long it has been since the baby ate and how much he/she ate. They will probably also never been the same size as each other. This makes it challenging to get a bra that fits well. I got around this by getting bras that have lots of options for adjustment. I got the Moving Comfort Fiona bra because the straps have velcro in the front allowing you to adjust the fit. I can custom adjust it for each side of my body for each run. (I have no relationship with Moving Comfort- I found the bra and paid for it myself.

3) They will be HEAVY
Besides just being generally large, your breasts will also be super heavy from the milk. I found that feeding the baby and then also pumping to get them as empty as possible before I run makes me a lot more comfortable.

4) You need easy access for feedings
Newborns especially are impossible to get on a schedule. Even when I think I've timed things perfectly, my baby somehow always needs to eat right before, after, or even in the middle of my run. This means that I need a bra that allows me to feed him easily without having to get completely naked on my top half. Again, the Moving Comfort Fiona bra works well for me because I can completely undo the strap on side and the fabric is soft and flexible enough for me to pull down to give the baby access.

5) You can't wear a bra with underwire
My lactation consultant advised me against wearing any bras with underwire because it can interfere with milk production. This limits your options in finding a bra supportive enough for the high impact of running. I found it really helpful to go into an actual store to try on bras because it is hard to know if they provide enough support without actually jumping in them.

Did you breastfeed while running? What worked for you?

Postpartum Fitness: 6 weeks

Cooper is now 6 weeks old and while things certainly aren't "easy," I am starting to feel a lot more like myself, mostly because I am back in the swing of things with my exercise routine.

picture just because he is so darn cute

I had a relatively uncomplicated delivery, with minimal tearing, so my midwife told me that I could resume exercise when my bleeding slowed and I felt ready.

Week 1
For my first week postpartum all I could do was hobble! But I found that getting out of the house for just 15 minutes of fresh air, sunshine, and movement made just a huge difference.

Week 2
By week two I was starting to feel stronger and was in a lot less pain. I started doing longer walks (30-45 minutes) and even figured out how to get the baby in the sling so I could walk with him. I was lucky that we had some beautiful, and very atypical weather for Maine, this week so that it was warm enough to take him out. I also did some gentle yoga to help everything loosen up and settle back into position.

Family Walk! (The white thing on my chest is the baby)

Week 3
At the end of week 2 my husband and I started sleeping in shifts, where one of us was in with the baby and the other was in the guest room. Getting several hours of uninterrupted sleep made such a huge difference and I felt like I recovered so much in just a couple days. My bleeding slowed almost to nothing and I had so much more energy. So half-way through this week I made my return to the gym! I went back to my favorite classes (kickboxing and metabolic conditioning), but made sure to ease back in and not go all out. I also went back to the yoga studio for a gentle vinyassa flow class, which did wonderful things for me physically and mentally.

Week 4
I continued to feel good, so I went for my first run at the beginning of week 4. Since I hadn't run in a couple months, and had been doing intervals of run-walk before that, I knew it would be hard. I stuck to a 1 minute run-1 minute walk ratio and went for 30-45 minutes. I made it outside one day and the other 2 stuck to the treadmill since I was on baby duty.

A mid run selfie as proof that it actually happened

Week 5
I was feeling really good at the gym so I started pushing it a little harder. Since I had continued both classes and weight training right up until week 40, I felt like I'd hardly lost any fitness. In fact, I felt like I was stronger than before pregnancy since I'd been hauling around all that extra weight for months. It felt great to be able to get back to my favorite moves like burpees that had been really hard with a giant baby belly.
Running wise, I upped my run interval to 2-3 minutes. I also started increasing my running speed, especially on the treadmill to make it more interesting.

Week 6
By week 6 I was basically back to normal at the gym. It was nice to be able to really go hard and get my heart rate up without worrying about the baby like during pregnancy.

Running on the other hand is still very much a work in progress. I've always known that running fitness is very specific and this just confirms it. There is just no way to stay in running shape without running! I'm up to a 4 minute run-1 minute walk ratio for 45-60 minutes. It feels hard and I am slow, which is discouraging. I was really hoping I'd be one of those magical people that is faster after pregnancy. But I remind myself that I was pregnant for 40 weeks, I can't expect to be back in racing shape immediately. Ultimately running has never been about being the fastest person out there for me, so it shouldn't be now. It is about clearing my head, getting some me time, and feeling good about my body.

Cooper has also been working on his fitness. He has some serious gains in the chin department.