How Becoming a Mother Made Me A Better Runner

I'm running a spring half marathon and I did a 10 miler last weekend, so I've been ramping up my mileage since December. It's my second build-up post partum, and it just feels like everything is clicking. I feel physically the strongest I've ever been, but also like I've found this new mental strength. I truly think become a mother has made me a better runner.

I think there are a few reasons for this, one is that I am physically stronger than I was in the past. I go to the gym instead of running more often now, mostly because there is childcare. Running outside with Cooper isn't an option in the winter. But I've also (finally!) realized that strength training is good for me. I've come to like it and to like what it does to my body. I'm still a cardio junkie at heart, but I'm so much better about cross training and strength than I was in the past.




5 am and snowing? Oh well

I also think that going through a long, painful labor made me so much tougher. It was a pain like nothing else I have ever experienced and it made everything else seem not so bad in comparison. It was also the first time I had no control over what was happening to my body. Marathons hurt, but there was always the possibility that I could quit if I really wanted. In labor I just had to keep going for as long as it took. I was forced to learn to take it minute by minute and not worry about what was to come.

The biggest shift though is mental. I used to spend so much time worrying about my long runs. During my runs, I dwelled on how much further I had to run. Now, I don't have the time or mental energy to spend as much time worrying before I run. There is usually only time period during the week that works for my long run, so I can't obsess about finding the perfect conditions for my run. I have to run when I have the chance. Running used to be something to get done for me- I loved how I felt after my run, but not necessarily during. Now though, I appreciate having that time to myself so much more. I love the freedom of being outside, of being able to listen to a podcast without interruptions, of having time to think. Running has become a privilege instead of a chore.

Cape Elizabeth Mid-WInter 10 Mile Classic 2019

I ran a race! It’s a rare event these days, it deserves an exclamation point. I did the Mid Winter Classic, which is a challenging 10 mile course in Cape Elizabeth. It had been SOOOOO cold in the week leading up the race, but luckily the forecast was for warmer weather on race day. I tried something new on race morning- not drinking coffee and instead taking a caffeine pill before the race start. I was hoping this would help with not needing to the use the bathroom so much before and during the race. It did help, but I sure missed my hot cup of coffee when I first woke up!

 

Before the race I had a chance to meet a bunch of the Spandits ambassadors, which was so fun! We interact quite a bit on-line, but I’d never met any of them in person!

 

It was only 19 when I got to the race, so I decided to wear my thin jacket over an insulated shirt and tank, with thermal spandits on the bottom. By the time I walked out to the start 45 mins later, it felt like it had warmed up 30 degrees! This was fortunate because the race didn’t start on time. At 9:44 the race starter said “ready, set…. Hold on a minute.” He then said it would be 30 seconds. Several minutes later they said 2 more minutes. It turns out the generator wasn’t running so the timing system wasn’t on and ready to go. Around 9:50 we finally went.

 

Due to weather, and life in general, my longest training run was 9.25 miles. I knew I could finish, I just didn’t know how fast. My shorter training runs have been on the speedy side (for me), so I had hope that I could run a decent race. My A goal was sub 9 minute miles, and my B goal was sub 10 minute pace. The course starts off with about a mile of downhill and then some long, steep uphills. So I went out at a comfortably hard pace and tried to hold on. I set my watch for 6 minutes run, 30 seconds walk, but I used that very loosely, mostly only walking briefly on the steepest parts of the hills.

 

I was too warm almost immediately. My bib was pinned on my jacket, so I couldn’t get that off. I did ditch my mitten though and felt a lot better after that. I got into a good groove, listening to the Ali on the Run podcast and just continuing to push. I took a gel at mile 5 and sips of water at 3,6, and 9 miles. My only complaint about race organization was that the water stops were all on downhills. One, I don’t want to walk the downhill, and secondly all the spilled water around the water tables made it very slippery for a downhill.

 

This is very much an experienced runners’ race. It is a hard course and it is in the dead of winter, so it is usually cold. This means that the competition is stiff, so once I settled in, I didn’t really pass anyone. It was a little discouraging, but also worked to my advantage as I started to tire near the end because it motivated me to hang on to all the runner’s I’d been with the whole race. My cardiovascular endurance felt pretty strong the whole race (until I sprinted the finish), but my legs got really tired around mile 8. My right hamstring and quad in particular just locked up. Thankfully I was right with on the other Spandits Ambassadors, Gretchen, as we made the turn into the high school for the finish. I hate the finish of this race because you think you are at the end when you make the turn, but you still have quite a way to go as they make you loop all the way around the back of the school. I passed Gretchen heading down the hill, but then she passed me again on the last flat before the finish. My legs just had nothing left!!

 

I accomplished my A goal, finishing in 1:27:55, an 8:48 pace. I was 27^th in my age group, 178^th for all women, and 386^th overall. Given how competitive this field is, I feel great about this.

 

I didn’t stick around long after the race because I wanted to get home to relieve my friend Gillian, who watched Cooper for me. I swigged a chocolate milk and grabbed a couple pieces of Otto’s pizza (my favorite) to eat in the car. There was a super cool recovery station with all kinds of self massage tools that I wished I had time to try out.

 

Overall, it was a good day. The weather was amazing and given my training I did better than expected. But I was DONE afterward. Luckily I put Cooper down for a nap when I got home and then had 2 hours to shower, stretch, and rest before he was up again. I was so SORE for 2 days after the race. I guess that’s a sign that I ran all out?

Vacation in the Florida Keys

I realized last fall that we hadn't been on a vacation since our honeymoon more than 4 years ago! Between me going back to school, being pregnant, and then having a baby, we just didn't make it happen. This year I was determined get away from the Maine winter and head somewhere warm. We chose the Florida Keys because it was warm, not too long of a flight (critical with an active toddler), someplace neither of us had ever been, and we could get there using my Southwest miles.

goal #1 accomplished

We stayed at an AirBnb because we knew we needed more space than a hotel room, so that Cooper could nap and go to bed early without Rory and I having to tiptoe around silently in the dark. We stayed here and it was wonderful. It was clean and well equipped. Being able to eat a lot of meals at the condo saved us $ and sanity, since eating out with Cooper is not always relaxing. It had a beautiful pool, where we spent a lot of time, and a nice sandy beach area (although you couldn't swim in the ocean there because it was a rocky coast). It also came with 2 bikes and 2 kayaks to use. Most afternoons while Cooper napped, I got to go out in a kayak. The water was calm and beautiful and there was even a private island not far away that I could paddle out to.

Given that it was our first real vacation with a child, we kept our expectations realistic. My only goals for the trip were to 1) run in shorts and a tank, 2) sit by a pool, and 3) spend time with my family. I accomplished all 3 on the first day!

The pool was amazeballs. And 88 degrees.

The area we stayed in was great for families. It is not high season yet, so the traffic was never bad and nothing was too crowded. But it was still warm and sunny for us Mainers! Most mornings we headed out to a park. There were a lot of great state parks where we could hike, explore, and play. Our favorites were Harry Harris, Windley Key, and John Pennekamp. They were perfect with a toddler because they were affordable, we could explore at Cooper's pace, and they let him burn off some energy.

Our one big splurge activity was Theater of the Seas, a marine mammal park. We all loved it way more than we expected. There was hardly anyone there so we got so close to all the animals. I even got a kiss from a dolphin and Rory got a kiss from a sea lion!

I have some mixed feelings about parks and zoos in terms of animal rights. However most of the animals here are rescues or the offspring of rescues. It was clear how much all of the staff loved and cared for the animals in the park.

This sea turtle was hit by a boat and had a damaged shell, so they made him a little life jacket so he could still swim

Every vacation has to include some yummy treats. We had key lime muffins from Harrietts, conch fritters (for me) and alligator fritters (for Rory) with key lime butter from Lazy Days, and amazing crab rolls (for me) and calamari rolls (for Rory) from What the Fish.


Naturally, no trip can be perfect. Unfortunately one night Cooper developed croup, which quickly worsened to the point where he was struggling to breathe so we ended up in the ER. Luckily for us, there was hardly anyone else there so he was treated quickly, responded well to the treatment, and we were headed back to our condo in less than 2 hours. However the next day, his 2nd birthday, was a mess. We were all tired, Cooper's croup turned into a nasty cold, plus his legs were sore from the steroid shots at the ER, and I fell on my run and skinned my knee and hurt my hand. But we muddled through and still celebrated with cake and ice cream.

Overall, we had such a great trip. I'd highly recommend the keys for families with young kids (and for anyone!) The weather was great, the food was great, and we saw a lot of neat things. Honestly though, my favorite thing was just getting to spend a solid week with my family. Rory and I work opposite schedules so that we don't have to pay for childcare, which means that we rarely get to spend any time together. It was such a treat to have so much time together, where there was nothing else we needed to be doing besides enjoying each other's company.

 Sadly our trip had to come to end and we headed home, just in time for a blizzard followed by sub zero temperatures. Yeah Maine.

Are you going on vacation this winter? Where? If you aren't, but could go anywhere, where would you go?

mom o meter

I listen to the fabulous, funny podcast “One Bad Mother,” which just had an episode called “Where are We on the Mom-o-meter?” that resonated with me SO much. One of the hosts, Theresa, said that she feels like she is right up there near 100% because she is at the point where she just does all the Mom stuff automatically, without thought. She doesn’t have to think about putting on her Mom hat anymore, it’s just a part of her head now.

Almost 2 years into being a Mom I feel like I’m at that point too. It’s never easy, but I’ve settled in. Even when I’m at work, or out with friends, part of me is always tuned into Cooper. Sometimes I can’t remember when I last ate or went to the bathroom, but I know when he did. I’m so used to responding to and anticipating his needs that I don’t even think about it.

The thing I loved was that Theresa went on to say that she refuses to feel bad about it. That for a long time she felt like she should have this whole separate non-Mom identity. But that she just doesn’t have the time right now. The years when children are young goes so quickly, that she is fine with dedicating most of her attention to them right now. That’s exactly how I feel. I can’t believe Cooper is almost 2- time has just flown. I love being his person- the one who understands his toddler language, the one he turns to when he is upset. I spent my 20’s working a lot, travelling a lot, and doing a lot of things for me. Being a Mom is the thing that makes me feel happiest and most fulfilled right now. I don’t feel like I should have to apologize for prioritizing my family over my career or other things right now, and yet I feel like there are so many people telling me that I should. I’m a Mom right now, and that is more than enough.

Stepping Back

I mentioned last week that I am doing an EMR consulting job in Massachusetts for a couple weeks. It's strange because it is like going back in time 10 years ago when I did this full time. Except that now the travel is exciting: it feels like a treat to be by myself in a hotel room and have someone come and clean it every day, to get to eat out for all my meals, to have no one to care for except my myself.

Leaving Cooper is hard, but I find when I do get home that I am better mother. Having that break from the relentlessness of parenting is refreshing. When I get home I have a new enthusiasm- I am motivated to go on adventures, to make a mess with him on cooking projects, to come up with fun art projects. My regular nursing job also seems better when I return.

We all need this time away from the every day.  I can see this now from the other side. Yet it was so hard to convince myself to take these opportunities for change. I agonized about this consulting job and was so anxious leading up to it. Routine is comforting and familiar. Yet doing the same thing day after day can wear you down. I'm posting this now while it is fresh on my mind to remind myself. It is important to take those new opportunities, take the breaks. We ended up cancelling our vacation plans last year because all the travel logistics of flying with a baby just seemed like too much. I regretted it so much. We have a trip planned to Florida in January and I am already starting to worry about the travel. Kiersten, learn from this last experience. It will be worth it. Do not become one of those people who never does anything new or different.

Highs and Lows of our new House

We have been in our new house for over 2 months now. It actually seems like much longer than that- it feels like it has been our home forever! We've been there long enough that the novelty has worn off and we really realize what we love and don't love about the new house.

LOVES

Having more space- We almost doubled our living space and it is so wonderful. I don't feel like the whole house is taken over by Cooper's stuff anymore or like we are all on top of each other when we are all in the living room. We can even have lots of company and not feel too crowded!

plenty of room for Aunt Margaret to visit and pretend play "piggy" on the floor

the yard is pretty in the snow too!

Having a deck and yard- This one is such a game changer. I love to be outside and so do Sushi and Cooper. At our condo we had a small patio and green space, but it wasn't private. Our new deck is entirely enclosed so I can actually grill or sit and have a cocktail (before it got too cold) and not have to be chasing Cooper because he is running into the road. I can't wait until we fence the yard next spring so we can just let Sushi run too! It's such a game changer to be able to go out and play when we need a change of scenery instead of having to load up the car and drive somewhere. Plus no creepy neighbor who stares at me whenever I am outside!



Having a neighbor running buddy- My friend Bri lives right down the street. It's so nice to have a friend to run with, especially on these dark winter mornings!

Being closer to the Gym and the Highway- It's like 3 minutes to the gym which makes getting to early morning classes much easier. And we are right off a spur to the highway so my commute isn't nearly as frustrating traffic wise.

DISLIKES

I constantly have to wipe crap off the fridge

The kitchen sink- we had replaced our sink at the condo with a deep farmers sink, but now we are back to a small divided sink, It's impossible to wash large pots and pans and the highchair tray without getting water everywhere.

Stainless Steel Appliances- with a toddler they are more like constantly stained appliances.

The Tiny Bathroom- The upstairs bathroom is SMALL and has no counter space. We have to store our electric toothbrush on the back of the toilet because it has to be plugged into the only outlet and doesn't fit on the counter. I think this is so gross, but I haven't found a better solution. I rarely get to shower without Cooper accompanying me into the bathroom, so I have no floor space to dry off and get dressed after my shower.

My Running Routes- At my old house I had 3-4 routes that were loops that all went by the ocean. At the new house our neighborhood is between 2 busy roads, so I can either do a lot of small loops within the neighborhood, or have to deal with the traffic. And I don't get to see the ocean.


The Heat- I never thought I'd miss the electric heat at the condo, but I do! It let us turn on the heat in Cooper's room without having to heat the rest of the upstairs. In the new house our room and Cooper's room are in the same zone and the thermostat is in our room, So in order to make sure he is warm enough at night, we have to keep our room warm as well. I hate sleeping in a hot room- I'd much rather have it be 55 and use a ton of blankets.

What do you like and dislike about where you live?

Not a night owl

I've had the opportunity to do several short term EMR consulting jobs (my old job before nursing) this year. It's been nice to travel a bit and make some extra $$. However this time around they have me doing NIGHT shift. Wah Wah. At my last gig I was in at 6am, so I was getting up at 4 am to run before.

Getting up at 4 am didn't bother me. I am not a night owl. 9 pm is a late night for me. So going into work at 11 pm? Ug, it sucks. I've had a terrible headache and stomach ache all week.

It totally gives me a new appreciation for people who do this all the time, like my husband. He works midnights every single week- and doesn't get to sleep in a nice quiet hotel when he is trying to sleep during the day. He has a toddler screaming, a wife stomping, and a dog barking to disrupt hium,.


The only plus side is that I am actually getting to run in the daylight (at 3pm when I get up) instead of at 5:30 am!


Would you rather get up early or stay up late? Have you ever had to work overnight?