I didn't run... and the world didn't end

I got sick last week- really sick. I was in Las Vegas for work and I dragged myself through the week. Up at 5 am, I'd be running down the strip, or up in the rooftop gym, with a throat so swollen and sore I could barely take a tiny sip of water. I was so congested that my head was pounding, I was sweating with a fever, I was coughing, and still I worked out every day. That's what I do. Unil Saturday. I was in Maine for the early bird sale. I dragged myself out of bed at 5:30, shopped with my family and friends until 11 and then I came home and laid down on the couch. I didn't get up again that day. I knew my family would dissapprove of me running Sunday so I planned to go while they were at church. Instead after sitting at the table with them for a few minutes, I had to go back to the couch where I stayed again for the whole day. I could manage to stay awake for maybe an hour or two at a time before I needed to sleep again. And yet, I still felt guilty about not running.

Battle of the Biggies

I won a race today! I've never gotten to write that before, and it feels pretty good. I did the Battle of the Biggies Duathalon in Cambridge. I went in, not expecting much since I've been sick all week. I didn't treat it like a race morning- I slept in, had cereal and a banana, then headed into the city. I got lost, but didn't freak out. It was a small race- only about 80 people. The first run was 2.6 miles, a loop up to the first bridge around a back. At first we tried to avoid the puddles, but since it poured all day yesterday that was impossible. I placed myself at the back, but just kept picking people off. I looked at down at my Garmin- 8:05 and I didn't even feel it.

Then, I hopped on my bike. I'm a bike wimp. I like smooth roads with no traffic. This was not that kind of course. AT ALL. It was 3 loops of rocky, muddy, paths, giant puddles, pedestrian clogged bridges, and sharp corners. There was one puddle where the water was almost over my wheels. All you could do was fly through. I was muddy, soaked, and having a blast. My last time through the monster puddle I let out a giant yahoo.

Then, I was back in my running shoes. My legs felt like jello- but when I looked down at my watch I was running an 8:05 again. The last leg was 3.5, and it felt long. I went out with another woman my age- who I knew was my main competition. I followed her up one side of the Charles. At each bridge, I was praying it would be the turn around, and at each bridge they waved us to keep going. Finally we crossed over the river and headed back. At this point, I was feeling it. My stomach was churning. My I passed the woman and set my sights on a guy in a fancy tri suit in front of me. I passed him too. Dry heaving I made my way back across the river and to the finish. Since there was a run only option, and a team option, I couldn't tell how I had done.

After a wierdly good combination of bakes beans and doritos (oh the trails of being a non red meat eater at a BBQ) it was time for prizes. When they did my age group I thought they had made a mistake, since the girl I passed won. But then, they got to the first overall woman and it was me! Holy moly! 6 hours later and I'm still smiling like crazy.

Oscar

I suppose that since last week was Sesame Street's anniversary, it's appropriate that I spent the weekend feeling like Oscar the grouch. Sunday I had planned to go to a book tour event for Cake Wrecks (one of my favorite blogs (http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/). They were giving out wristbands (so said the website) starting at 10. Since I like to get my workout out of the way before I settle down to have fun for the day I decided to get up early and run with the Framingham Running Club. They have a group run every Sunday at 8:30, and I can't usually motivate myself to be there so early on a weekend, despite the fact that I'm starved for running partners and good trail runs (they provide both).

Despite the fact that it was an amazing beautiful day (sunny, warm, Indian summer), I was not happy. I felt like people were crowding me (I even snapped at one guy), and then 5 minutes later felt like people were ignoring me. I was annoyed when the leader decided to take us on an extra mile loop. Instead of kicking my way through the leaves, I grumbled at them for hiding potentially treacherous rocks. As I wheezed my way uphill, I wanted to be going down. As my ankles rolls sliding down hills, I wanted to be going up. Nothing was making me happy.

So when I got back in my car and saw a phone full of text messages from my friends who I was supposed to meet (they had gone early to get bracelets and found out that the bookstore had changed their plans), I was unexplainable angry. Somehow I felt like they were blaming me? Instead of meeting them for breakfast as planned, I told them to go without me. Instead of a big plate of chocolate chip pancakes at a table with friends, I had cold cereal on my couch alone. Then I went to Cake Wrecks and sat in the corner and stewed. Stupid I know. But I just couldn't get myself out of the trashcan of doom.

Two Different Earrings

It's one of those weeks where I just don't feel like I have it together. Nothing major has gone wrong, but there have been quite a few instances where I realized that what I thought was happening, wasn't. Like my run this morning. I was on the trail thinking I was cruising along nicely, until I looked at my garmin. 13:10 pace. No wonder it felt so easy. Then, I was conducting an interview with a potential hiree and reached up to feel my earring. It didn't feel like the earrings I thought I was wearing. I touched the other ear. A different earring. It's just one of those weeks.....

Rain

This morning I had a great run in the rain. I really pushed myself for the first 4.5 miles (38 minutes) and then did 6 hill repeats for a total of 6.6 miles in 56 minutes. I'm struggling to unravel the mystery of why some days I want to push it like this, and others I just want to trot along at a comfortable pace. You would think that on a cold, rainy day I wouldn't feel great. Maybe it's something about overcoming my desire to stay inside and elliptical instead, and facing the elements. Once I'm out there I love the feeling of rain on my skin. Maybe it's just that I didn't go to the gym last night. We had friends over for dinner and pumpkin carving instead. I always think that more will get me fitter and skinnier. Maybe that just makes me tired. Whatever the cause was, I'll accept it gratefully. I never mind a day when I have the drive to conquer to world.

sole food

There are certain things that fuel my soul, which in turn fuels my soles and my running. On Columbus day weekend I did a trail run in Maine. The leaves were bright, the sun was shining, the air smelled of earth and of the sea, and there were people I loved on the trails with me. I finished the run and just sat on the shore looking out at the ocean.

Then Friday morning I woke up expecting a run in the cold rain. Instead it was snowing. Most people were not happy about snow in October, but I love snow. There is something about running with snowflakes on your lashes that makes you smile.

It takes something huge and beautiful, or unexpected, to make me stop and remember to breathe and appreciate what a gift it is to be able to run.

Still Alive

I know I haven't posted in FOREVER. I won't make excuses, I won't try to catch up. I'll just go from here. Maybe it's all the chocolate covered espresso beans I had today that are finally motivated. Maybe I'm delirious. I'm at a LIVE for work, and I've slept about 6 hours in the past 3 days. And you know what..... I'm FINE.

Sometimes you just need something to kick you out of a rut. I spend so much time planning and worrying. I waste so much time sleeping. I miss out on things because I'm afraid I might be tired, or rushed the next day. Saturday I skipped a concert I spent $50 on a ticket for because I had to get up early the next morning and didn't want to get home late. My roomies went without me and had a blast.

From here I'm going straight to meet my team for the Reach the Beach Relay.... a 36 hour relay across NH. And I'm going to enjoy it! I'm not going to stay in the van alone sleeping, just because I have a LIVE the next week too and don't want to be tired.

I can sleep when I'm dead.