I have noticed this strange dynamic in one of my friendships lately. When it is just the two of us, all is good. It is easy and relaxed and fun. But lately, we have also been hanging out with some new friends, and that is where things don't feel so good. There is an underlying element of competition. I feel like she interrupts me when I am talking, and no matter what I say, she has to one up it.
It's a strange thing because I can't just call her on it. In running, it is easier. You know that if you are in a race, then everyone else is your competition.You don't resent them for being there. In my world at least, I welcome this competition. I am mostly only competitive with myself. But, I know that if someone else picks it up at the end of the race and tries to pass me, then it will spur me to pick it up as well. Competition in running makes me better.
In the case of this friendship, it doesn't feel like that. It's exactly the opposite. Like we are trying to tear the the other person down. I know, it doesn't have to be like this. That I could just rise above it. I should rise above.
Are you competitive in your personal relationships?
And more importantly, any fun plans for the weekend?
I am heading up to visit the BF's Mom on Islesboro. I am totally looking forward to a technology break.
That last picture reminds me of another post I read this week where the author was talking about how she doesn't like to use the word girls to refer to grown women. I don't either. It implies immaturity.
ReplyDeleteI have a few friends that we work better one on one than in a group. I wonder if your friend just has a hard time knowing how to act in group situations, or if she feels needy for attention. I have met a lot of people like this.