what you took

You wanted a silly toy
and you did not get it
You took something much more precious
the weightlessness of running through the darkness
the beauty of the sun rise
the solitude of the trail
the deep cleansing of a run in the rain
the childish joy of a run in the snow
the fun of running through a pile of leaves
the exhilaration of racing all out
the cool squish of the wet grass beneath my bare feet
the rush from blasting my favorite song
the peace of losing myself in thought
because now I do not notice these things
I can not do these things
I am too busy listening
I am too busy looking
for you.

Attack

This morning when I was running on my favorite trail right by my house I was attacked. I had passed a young guy when I was heading into the trail, and he stepped aside to let me go by. Then about 20 minutes later I heard heavy footsteps running up behind me, then hands around my neck, and I was tackled to the ground. I started struggling and managed to turn myself around to face my attacker, and saw the guy I passed earlier on the trail. He was wearing a face mask so all I could see was his dark eyes. He grabbed at my i-pod and I started kicking and screaming. He lept to his feet, scaled the steep hill to our right, and then was gone. The whole thing lasted less than a minute.
I didn't want to follow the trail back the way my attacker had run so I went the other way and figured I'd cut up through a yard to the road. Luckily, I cane upon another runner who I recognized from other runs a few hundred feet up the trail. I explained what happened and he offered to escort me out of the trails. It was only about 1.5 miles on the road back to my house, but I was looking behind me the whole way.
I was okay until I got home. Then I saw my roommate and burst into tears. I called the police and could barely get my words out. I'm still amazed by the police response. Within minutes there were about 10 squad cars at the scene with 6 more state tropper canine units on the way. The dogs found the guy's sweatshirt and hat dropped on the trail, but he was long gone. After 4 hours of standing around shivering (I was still in my sweaty running clothes) and starving (I hadn't had breakfast yet), they let me go home. And now I'm home with the heat cranked and the door locked.
It could have been so much worse. I know I'm lucky. But I also feel betrayed and angry. That was my favorite running trail, and now I'll never be able to run it alone again. I have to run alone most of the time because of my travel schedule and I doubt I'll ever feel fully safe again. Why did some stupid teenager have to take that away from me? For an old i-pod that he didn't even get? There are 50 police offers out looking for him, and they will find him, and he will be punished. Was it really worth it?