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mom o meter

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I listen to the fabulous, funny podcast “One Bad Mother,” which just had an episode called “Where are We on the Mom-o-meter?” that resonated with me SO much. One of the hosts, Theresa, said that she feels like she is right up there near 100% because she is at the point where she just does all the Mom stuff automatically, without thought. She doesn’t have to think about putting on her Mom hat anymore, it’s just a part of her head now.
Almost 2 years into being a Mom I feel like I’m at that point too. It’s never easy, but I’ve settled in. Even when I’m at work, or out with friends, part of me is always tuned into Cooper. Sometimes I can’t remember when I last ate or went to the bathroom, but I know when he did. I’m so used to responding to and anticipating his needs that I don’t even think about it. The thing I loved was that Theresa went on to say that she refuses to feel bad about it. That for a long time she felt like she should have this whole separate non-Mom identity. But that sh…

Stepping Back

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I mentioned last week that I am doing an EMR consulting job in Massachusetts for a couple weeks. It's strange because it is like going back in time 10 years ago when I did this full time. Except that now the travel is exciting: it feels like a treat to be by myself in a hotel room and have someone come and clean it every day, to get to eat out for all my meals, to have no one to care for except my myself.
Leaving Cooper is hard, but I find when I do get home that I am better mother. Having that break from the relentlessness of parenting is refreshing. When I get home I have a new enthusiasm- I am motivated to go on adventures, to make a mess with him on cooking projects, to come up with fun art projects. My regular nursing job also seems better when I return.
We all need this time away from the every day.  I can see this now from the other side. Yet it was so hard to convince myself to take these opportunities for change. I agonized about this consulting job and was so anxious lea…

Highs and Lows of our new House

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We have been in our new house for over 2 months now. It actually seems like much longer than that- it feels like it has been our home forever! We've been there long enough that the novelty has worn off and we really realize what we love and don't love about the new house.

LOVES

Having more space- We almost doubled our living space and it is so wonderful. I don't feel like the whole house is taken over by Cooper's stuff anymore or like we are all on top of each other when we are all in the living room. We can even have lots of company and not feel too crowded!


Having a deck and yard- This one is such a game changer. I love to be outside and so do Sushi and Cooper. At our condo we had a small patio and green space, but it wasn't private. Our new deck is entirely enclosed so I can actually grill or sit and have a cocktail (before it got too cold) and not have to be chasing Cooper because he is running into the road. I can't wait until we fence the yard next spring…

Not a night owl

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I've had the opportunity to do several short term EMR consulting jobs (my old job before nursing) this year. It's been nice to travel a bit and make some extra $$. However this time around they have me doing NIGHT shift. Wah Wah. At my last gig I was in at 6am, so I was getting up at 4 am to run before.

Getting up at 4 am didn't bother me. I am not a night owl. 9 pm is a late night for me. So going into work at 11 pm? Ug, it sucks. I've had a terrible headache and stomach ache all week.

It totally gives me a new appreciation for people who do this all the time, like my husband. He works midnights every single week- and doesn't get to sleep in a nice quiet hotel when he is trying to sleep during the day. He has a toddler screaming, a wife stomping, and a dog barking to disrupt hium,.


The only plus side is that I am actually getting to run in the daylight (at 3pm when I get up) instead of at 5:30 am!


Would you rather get up early or stay up late? Have you ever had to …

Back Again

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Well hello! After another long absence, I’m back again. We had a very busy (but fun!) summer and then as that started to wind down, we bought a house and moved! I thought about this just being the end of my blog, but something keeps pulling me back. Writing helps me synthesize my thoughts in a unique way. Plus, we all need more social connections in our lives (although its entirely possible no one is reading this anymore)

So what’s up with me?

A new house! We’ve been casually looking over the past couple years but weren’t willing to get caught up in the crazy housing market. But we finally found a house we really liked at a fair price and figured it couldn’t hurt to make an offer. We were shocked to actually get it- and then had to get our butts in gear to sell our condo and move. Moving is the WORST, but it was worth it in the end. We moved to the next town over, into a great neighborhood with tons of kids. It is so nice having a yard and more space to spread out within the house itsel…

34

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I turned 34 on the 15th. Around my birthday I always like to reflect back on what the past year has brought me and what I want from the year ahead. This was the first year in several consecutive years that didn’t have a sentinel event that defined the year. I didn’t get married, change careers, or have a baby. Instead, it has been a year of figuring out who I am after the dust from all of those major events has settled. Although 34 feels a little scary to me because it means I am officially in my mid-thirties, I’m also okay with it because I feel like in the past year all the pieces have come together and I am just where I should be in my life. It's not at all where I would have predicted I'd be 10 years ago, but it feels so right.
Motherhood- This wasn’t literally the year I became a Mom, but I do feel like it is the year that being a Mom became part of my identity. When I turned 33, Cooper wasn’t even 5 months old. I was still very much in survival mode. A year later, I’ve …

Time Machine

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The past week I went on my first business trip since Cooper was born. I was gone for 5 nights, which was, by far, the longest I've ever been away from him. When the opportunity to do a short consulting project first presented itself, I was so torn. (A little background: before I became a nurse, I worked with electronic medical records and traveled ALL the time.) It was great opportunity financially, but it was so hard to choose to leave my child.

I went for it, but I was an anxious mess as the trip grew near. I doubted myself professionally-would I be able to do the job since I'd been out of the field for awhile? I felt so guilty. Would Cooper be okay with me? I felt guilty that my Mom and Aunt would have to come help with Cooper and that my husband would have to take on additional responsibility. I frantically tried to prepare everything at home for my absence- writing detailed instructions, cooking all of Cooper's favorite foods. The day I left I hugged him a hundred tim…