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Showing posts from June, 2018

34

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I turned 34 on the 15th. Around my birthday I always like to reflect back on what the past year has brought me and what I want from the year ahead. This was the first year in several consecutive years that didn’t have a sentinel event that defined the year. I didn’t get married, change careers, or have a baby. Instead, it has been a year of figuring out who I am after the dust from all of those major events has settled. Although 34 feels a little scary to me because it means I am officially in my mid-thirties, I’m also okay with it because I feel like in the past year all the pieces have come together and I am just where I should be in my life. It's not at all where I would have predicted I'd be 10 years ago, but it feels so right.
Motherhood- This wasn’t literally the year I became a Mom, but I do feel like it is the year that being a Mom became part of my identity. When I turned 33, Cooper wasn’t even 5 months old. I was still very much in survival mode. A year later, I’ve …

Time Machine

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The past week I went on my first business trip since Cooper was born. I was gone for 5 nights, which was, by far, the longest I've ever been away from him. When the opportunity to do a short consulting project first presented itself, I was so torn. (A little background: before I became a nurse, I worked with electronic medical records and traveled ALL the time.) It was great opportunity financially, but it was so hard to choose to leave my child.

I went for it, but I was an anxious mess as the trip grew near. I doubted myself professionally-would I be able to do the job since I'd been out of the field for awhile? I felt so guilty. Would Cooper be okay with me? I felt guilty that my Mom and Aunt would have to come help with Cooper and that my husband would have to take on additional responsibility. I frantically tried to prepare everything at home for my absence- writing detailed instructions, cooking all of Cooper's favorite foods. The day I left I hugged him a hundred tim…