"Normal"

He was so small, and I was so tired

Since Cooper turned one I feel like I’m getting a lot of comments from people about how I must be glad that life is getting “back to normal.” While things certainly have settled down from the sleep deprived, this is all so new and scary newborn days, I don’t know that I’d call my life back to “normal.”

Before kids, normal was:

• Getting to go to the bathroom alone. Now I either have to deal with Cooper banging on the bathroom door and screaming or I can let him in with me and trying to keep him from unrolling and shredding the entire roll of toilet paper and/or finding things to throw through my legs and into the toilet
• Being able to prepare food and eat all of it with both of my hands. Now meal prep is punctuated with frequent stops to engage Cooper in a non-dangerous activity. During meals I have to stop to pick up thrown food, cups, utensils, etc at least once a minute. And even if we are eating the same thing, he always wants what is on my plate instead of his own.
• Not having my heart walk around outside of my body. I love my little guy so much- a hug from him just makes my heart explode with joy, but at the same time I’m so aware of how little and fragile he is.

I made a human and now I am responsible for making sure he grows up safely and with every opportunity and advantage I can give him. I won’t ever be back to “normal”. I think it is unrealistic the way we expect women to act as if there hasn’t been this massive shift that affects almost every aspect of our existence . Our bodies, and our lives, are permanently changed.  There shouldn’t be this pressure to immediately look exactly as you did before. We may need accommodations in public and at work in order to breastfeed our children. We may need altered schedules or responsibilities at work. We definitely need more help than we did before from our partners, our families, and our friends. There is no normal in a life with children, because they are constantly growing and changing. As mothers, we should be allowed to grow and change with them. 

Never having a hand for myself is the new normal

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess just please stop asking me about life getting back to normal. Please stop asking any new Mom. Don't give new mothers the false expectation, or pressure, that life will go back to the way it was before kids. This crazy life you are living now is the new normal. It's hard, but I love it.

Instead of brunch and naps, Sundays are now spend at the Children's museum