paranoia runs deep

The week before a big race I am more aware of my body than any other time. I am tuned into every twinge and creak, fearing that I will break down, right when I want to run most . This week it was my foot that was setting my alarm flags off. I've had on and off foot problems and never done anything about them. I've just run through them and eventually they've gone away. This week when I put pressure on my foot it was rolling outward, forcing me to walk on the edge of my foot. If I tried to put my foot down flat, I felt a sharp pain in my foot up through my ankle. Nothing horrible, but I can't only imagine how that little pain might turn into a big pain after 20 miles. I limited myself to running 3 days, and tried to elliptical. This morning, it actually felt pretty good.

But, I was also running on angry adrenaline, thanks to a mix-up with my application to a graduate program. I sent the application in October and haven't heard a word, so I thought I was all set. Then, yesterday at 5 pm, I get an e-mail saying that my application is incomplete, and they are making final decisions tomorrow. There was nothing I could do about it last night, but I woke up at 4 this morning in a panic about it. I went for what I think was a fast run (my Nike i-pod plus is broken so I don't know for sure), and then tried to round up all the materials that I know I already sent. But it was probably all for nothing, as I don't think they'll have everything in time. Now, I'm just hoping that at least got my bad luck out of the way for the week, and my foot will hold-out for the Eastern States 20 miler Sunday.

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