Why is this so hard?

This Boston decision is driving me crazy. I was so ready to go along with the tide of people that told me I should just go for it. And then I tried to go for a long run.

I headed out Sunday intending to do somewhere between 12 and 18 miles. I did 12.27 miles and it felt like climbing Mt. Everest.

My legs felt heavy, I felt like I had absolutely no lung capacity, and time just seemed to crawl. I was irrationality angry at the wind, which just seemed to keep changing direction so I never had a tailwind.

And I just can't seem to recover. Monday morning I tried to go to kickboxing and I could barely lift my legs up at all. My "kicks" were pathetic. My hamstrings are so tight and achy. Just trying to walk the dog around the neighborhood was a struggle. I was whining and shuffling up the little tiny hill. All I wanted to do was sleep. I ended up cancelling my plans for the evening and crawling into bed at 6:45. I watched some Netflix on my ipad and was asleep by 8:30. This morning I went out for my usual 6 miler and it too was a struggle.

So yes, I want to do Boston. I really want to do Boston, especially since this is such a rare opportunity. I will probably never qualify, and I hate fundraising, so I probably won't ever get a charity spot. BUT, I also don't want Boston to be a suffer fest.

The struggle of Tokyo and how amazingly awful I felt during and after the race has not had enough time to fade. I don't want to end up like this again.


  1. Have you actually taken a rest day since Tokyo? Do you think you need a real day off to recover? Don't let one bad long run and not having energy the next day at a high intensity class make the decision for you! Everyone has off days (or months, ugh)! :P

    1. You know me too well. But, I actually have taken rest days! I didn't run at all in the week after the race and took 2 full rest days. The other days I was just downhill skiing. And I've been getting in lots of yoga which I also find really helps me recover.


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