As part of my yoga teacher training I've been studying the 5 yamas, which are basically the ethical rules within yoga. One of the yamas is Aparigraha, which encourages us to only take what is necessary and not hoard.
Makes sense, but like all things it is so much harder in practice than in theory.
Although the fiance moved in a year ago, his house is just selling now. So, we are just now having to deal with getting the rest of his stuff out of his house and making room for it in my (which is now our) house.
He tends to really cling to things because he has attached to them emotionally. I was trying to reason with him and convince him to get rid of things and was getting frustrated when he didn't want to let go of things.
And then I realized that I was doing the same thing! The reason there wasn't room for his stuff in my house is because I have too much of my own stuff!!
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I talked about this just last week when I was trying to clean out my running clothes. I start to think about all the experiences I've had with these things and they become special. But what I've realized, and what I have to keep reminding myself, is that the things aren't special. The memories are special and the memories are not attached to the things.
It will continue to be an on-going negotiation for us. I'm sure we will both feel like we are giving up things we'd rather keep and still wish the other person would get rid of more. But in the long run, the fact that we are building a life together is so much more important than any physical thing.
Do you have a hard time getting rid of things? What is the thing you are embarrassed to still keep? Have you ever regretted giving something up?
We looked at an apartment a few years ago and I was bummed we couldn't make it work - cause it's smaller than our house and I SOOOOO wanted to get rid of a bunch of stuff. I don't have a hard time with it :) I don't even regret ditching my high school journals.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rest of his move in! :)